Be happy with an excuse in The Good Conversation

Coaching leadership is one of the five ingredients of The Good Conversation. In this conversation, there should be room for 'a sorry'. Admitting to having made a mistake is not easy for every employee. Especially not to their manager. Fear of a sighing reaction is often a reason for employees to sweep a mistake under the rug. After all, what you don't know can't hurt you. A missed opportunity, nothing learned again, and the employee knows this all too well. This is why it is important to welcome an excuse when conducting The Good Conversation.

The excuse drawer opens again. Across the table rolls the explanation of why deadlines were not met and the product does not meet 100 percent of the requirements. And as a manager, you should be happy about that? Yes! Because a yes-no discussion is not productive and certainly does not lead to a process in which mistakes are learned from. He also knows that if he acts like a know-it-all, the employee will not dare to be so vulnerable next time. (Source: Het GROTE gesprekkenboek, 2023, Jacco van den Berg)

The truth does not exist

Because every excuse is subjective, it is important in good conversations to take the employee's reality as the starting point. Let the employee tell about the situation and ask about the reasons why he or she cannot yet fully do or know something. Just like the employee, the manager is curious. Curiosity is the beginning of wisdom.

"Curiosity is the beginning of wisdom"

Leave the sigh behind

It is questionable whether a deeper coaching conversation will emerge if the manager, in his role as coach, had let out a big sigh when addressing the mistake. In coaching, trust is one of the success factors. The employee must feel safe enough to put everything that hinders their performance or development on the table. A manager's happiness about an excuse contributes to this safety.

Failing is great!

"Why, according to Frank Deurling, author of the book SuperFailing, is it good to be honest about things that go wrong? "Organizations don't want everyone making the same mistakes because nobody says anything. Additionally, the atmosphere in the team improves by being open about missteps. Employees think they will be laughed at, but colleagues often find it brave. And it's contagious, making it easier to acknowledge mistakes. Furthermore, it's a relief. Unpleasant emotions such as guilt and shame disappear by talking about failures."

Organize a f*ck-up drinks session

Organize café-au-lait moments or f*ck-up drinks sessions where everyone takes turns sharing a blunder. Such a regular monthly moment lowers the barrier to acknowledging mistakes and it is a session in which employees learn from and with each other.

Good conversations thrive in a climate where mistakes are learning moments. Especially when the manager coaches employees on correcting mistakes and preventing them.